tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11648224448855994762024-03-13T05:27:27.906-07:00Visual Thoughtsdeep in the sun-searched growths the dragonfly hangs like a blue thread loosened from the skyLindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.comBlogger158125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-74924064476670175832014-05-27T20:45:00.000-07:002023-11-19T12:53:42.677-08:00There's Something About June...that means it is time to move. If you want to be logical it marks the end of an academic year, but if you want to read into what it means to The Universe I guess it is time for a change.<br />
<br />
Atlanta has truly become 'home' in the grandest sense of the word over the past six years. Multiple communities, neighborhoods, and people have made this city very dear to my heart. I never planned on staying this long -- but in retrospect I think it was just long enough. I am not running away from anything now, instead I am moving forward towards the next chapter/stage/phase/level of life.<br />
<br />
Level up!<br />
<br />
Why? Well, there isn't anything left for me here in terms of my career goals. By year five I was given the exact worksheets and kits to hand out every nine weeks. I was told that I couldn't create my own lesson plans anymore or veer from the standards. Going to high school would have been a slightly better situation but there were no schools hiring within a reasonable distance of the city -- and after commuting 45 minutes each way for so long I was looking for something a little closer to home.<br />
<br />
And to be perfectly honest, I don't fit in the mold for public education. It was an amazing experience; I learned more than I could have ever anticipated about professionalism, classroom management, leadership, community, peer relations, and the mystery of teaching -- all of which I am eternally grateful. However, dreams run big in this family and I was not going to settle in to the complacency of standardized worksheets.<br />
<br />
Thus, my year sabbatical began June 2013. Summer vacation stretched into September until I was finally working 3-4 jobs to pay rent. A dear friend upped my hours and eventually I was 'full time' contract work for a start-up company as the Project Manager. Again, learning more than I could have ever dreamed, but still not feeling a sense of fulfillment after a long day of sitting in an office sending emails. I was, however, living a dream of being in the city proper, walking or biking to work, experiencing Atlanta in ways that people in the 'burbs will never grasp. Apparently I should only live downtown or on top of a mountain for optimum quality of life.<br />
<br />
So, in January the career hunt began again with the realization I could work practically anywhere -- but that I didn't want to just be a middle school or high school teacher just for the sake of a job. So I contacted a college professor who has been asking me to come to ISU for my PhD (full ride) for years. Turns out they have grants and work coming out of their ears and not enough staff<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-23681031058981160302014-05-22T21:59:00.000-07:002014-05-27T19:44:02.199-07:00SimplethingsGIRLS was better than usual tonight. All 4 episodes. F.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zYqsNM2XIZ0" width="560"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-1412352603713099412014-04-29T06:38:00.005-07:002014-04-29T06:38:44.902-07:00...who you used to be.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dEP0Bi3pC3A/U1-q7f61G8I/AAAAAAAABnM/yMyfXqvLoB8/s1600/asofterworld1088.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dEP0Bi3pC3A/U1-q7f61G8I/AAAAAAAABnM/yMyfXqvLoB8/s1600/asofterworld1088.jpg" height="145" width="400" /></a></div>
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Seriously needed to read this today.Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-20046214565714154382014-04-17T17:12:00.000-07:002014-04-17T17:12:40.653-07:00Content Doesn't Mean ComplacentI am fairly convinced that the more content you are, the easier it is to change.<br />
<br />
Before, it felt like running. Before, it was a desperate scramble to escape from perceived flaw.<br />
<br />
Now, it is a move towards the next chapter. Now, it is living every day authentically with purpose and direction.<br />
<br />
The romance of living in the city, walking and riding my bike to work has been fulfilled. Working at a 'real' job instead of in education has been realized. It is all part of the process. Life likes to fool us into thinking that there is an ultimate goal. Nope.<br />
<br />
There are very few elements and people that will pull on my heartstrings as I say goodbye. The city is comfortable, at most. A number of personalities will always be in my life, regardless of my zip code, but I can list them on two hands. Which is healthy, I suppose.<br />
<br />
No, it is time to move on. Last year would have been forced and frantic. This year it is right.<br />
<br />
Hello, New Job, New State, New Life. I always loved living amidst cornfields. Time for some big sky county and refocusing - everything.<br />
<br />
Now to enjoy some vacationing travels before the real travels begin. *swoon*<br />
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<br />Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-55089178554431041292014-03-19T20:19:00.000-07:002014-03-20T19:44:54.725-07:00Three months in . . . It has taken a few months for this year's intention to seep in.<br />
<br />
Relentlessly.<br />
<br />
To meander it's way through the cracks and fill in all the little momentary voids that make up the decisions that form our lives.<br />
<br />
Relentlessly.<br />
<br />
To manifest itself in a overwhelmingly fierce way that keeps you from ever doubting it's existence.<br />
<br />
Relentlessly.<br />
<br />
As of this week, though, I have felt the pull of a new intentional habit starting to take precedence over the inertia of my year-long mental summer vacation. Before three hard-hitting actions taken today I felt as though I was still just flowing along with the occasional self inflicted pep-talk. Nope, today shit happened. And it felt good. Really good.<br />
<br />
Relentlessly asking questions...<br />
Relentlessly checking off checklists...<br />
Relentlessly reliable...<br />
Relentlessly not taking shit...<br />
Relentlessly being honest...<br />
Relentlessly going after whatever the hell it is I want to do for the rest of my life...<br />
Relentlessly loving, respecting, and giving...<br />
<br />
Plans change, lives change, addresses change, but intentions stay the same. I feel like I have hit a huge reset button on my life since leaving teaching, while at the same time finally connecting my past to my future instead of reinventing and going on an entirely new path. Super. Weird. Feeling.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/TN-EIKEghuw?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-87351978189384553502014-03-12T08:58:00.001-07:002014-03-12T08:58:07.815-07:00GayatriIn the end<br />
when these bones<br />
<br />
are only bones<br />
<br />
all that matters<br />
is how much we gave,<br />
<br />
how much we loved.<br />
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<br />
http://www.last.fm/music/Benjy+Wertheimer/_/GayatriLindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-35689818908166069612014-03-03T20:03:00.000-08:002014-03-03T20:03:30.445-08:00You Can't Eat BeautyOscar Winner Lupita Nyong'o's Speech On Beauty That Left An Entire Audience Speechless:<br />
<br />
"It was perplexing and I wanted to reject it because I had begun to enjoy the seduction of inadequacy. But a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty, but around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful. And my mother again would say to me, <b>"You can’t eat beauty. It doesn’t feed you."</b> And these words plagued and bothered me; I didn’t really understand them until finally I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to be.<br />
<br />
And what my mother meant when she said you can’t eat beauty was that you can’t rely on how you look to sustain you. <i>What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ZPCkfARH2eE?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-24556268778996983962014-02-16T20:34:00.001-08:002014-02-16T20:36:26.425-08:00It's Only Love That Gets You ThroughSade is one of my go-to artists when I am not quite sure what to put on the speaker box. Lovers Rock is, by far, her best album with Solder of Love (for me) a close second. A friend's post on the facebooks reminded me of her love-centric lyrics, so I put a few of her albums on shuffle on the Friday evening drive to Birmingham. Despite the fact I have heard this song hundreds of times, it finally made sense that night. It is undoubtably her least romantic song (next to Pearls or Immigrant) but now it is tied as a top favorite.<br />
<br />
I mean, shit, with three simple, poetic, verses she paints a picture of strength through the emotion we most associate with vulnerability; perseverance and victory through the trials of whatever life the subject has experienced up until this point. It is about not letting bitterness and resentment be your foundation-regardless of your past. Maybe one day, when I write those seven years all down--when it is all out in the open--it will make more sense. Until then, I will just say that this is the perfect Valentines Day song this year. Because, honestly, as cliche as it sounds, it reminds us that we don't need someone To Love in order to love. We just need to, well, love. The rest takes care of itself.<br />
<br />
It's Only Love That Get's You Through - Sade<br />
<i>Girl you are rich even with nothing</i><br />
<i>And you know tenderness comes from pain</i><br />
<i>It's amazing how you love</i><br />
<i>And love is kind and love can give</i><br />
<i>And get no gain</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>It's down a rugged road you've come</i><br />
<i>Though you had every reason</i><br />
<i>You didn't come undone</i><br />
<i>Somehow you made it to the other side</i><br />
<i>You didn't suffer in vain</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>You forgive those who have trespassed against you</i><br />
<i>And you know tenderness comes from pain</i><br />
<i>It's amazing how you love</i><br />
<i>And love is kind and love can give</i><br />
<i>And love needs no gain</i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/E7RLvQvVBzY" width="420"></iframe><br />
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*Smooth Operator came out the year I was born. Sade is also the hottest and oldest Diva. Ever.Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-35286182149030003462014-01-29T10:14:00.001-08:002014-01-29T10:14:42.042-08:00Don't Date a Girl Who TravelsWho the hell knows why I have nomadic tendencies. Nature or nurture has freedom firmly imprinted on my heart. Here is a very modern, pintrest-esque, essay that sums it all up quite nicely. Fudge.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><a href="https://medium.com/better-humans/802c49b9141c" target="_blank">Don’t date a girl who travels</a></b><br />
AdiAdi in Better Humans<br />
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She’s the one with the messy unkempt hair colored by the sun. Her skin is now far from fair like it once was. Not even sun kissed. It’s burnt with multiple tan lines, wounds and bites here and there. But for every flaw on her skin, she has an interesting story to tell.<br />
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Don’t date a girl who travels. She is hard to please. The usual dinner-movie date at the mall will suck the life out of her. Her soul craves for new experiences and adventures. She will be unimpressed with your new car and your expensive watch. She would rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane than hear you brag about it.<br />
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Don’t date a girl who travels because she will bug you to book a flight every time there’s an airline seat sale. She wont party at Republiq. And she will never pay over $100 for Avicii because she knows that one weekend of clubbing is equivalent to one week somewhere far more exciting.<br />
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Chances are, she can’t hold a steady job. Or she’s probably daydreaming about quitting. She doesn’t want to keep working her ass off for someone else’s dream. She has her own and is working towards it. She is a freelancer. She makes money from designing, writing, photography or something that requires creativity and imagination. Don’t waste her time complaining about your boring job.<br />
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Don’t date a girl who travels. She might have wasted her college degree and switched careers entirely. She is now a dive instructor or a yoga teacher. She’s not sure when the next paycheck is coming. But she doesn’t work like a robot all day, she goes out and takes what life has to offer and challenges you to do the same.<br />
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Don’t date a girl who travels for she has chosen a life of uncertainty. She doesn’t have a plan or a permanent address. She goes with the flow and follows her heart. She dances to the beat of her own drum. She doesn’t wear a watch. Her days are ruled by the sun and the moon. When the waves are calling, life stops and she will be oblivious to everything else for a moment. But she has learned that the most important thing in life isn’t surfing.<br />
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Don’t date a girl who travels as she tends to speak her mind. She will never try to impress your parents or friends. She knows respect, but isn’t afraid to hold a debate about global issues or social responsibility.<br />
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She will never need you. She knows how to pitch a tent and screw her own fins without your help. She cooks well and doesn’t need you to pay for her meals. She is too independent and wont care whether you travel with her or not. She will forget to check in with you when she arrives at her destination. She’s busy living in the present. She talks to strangers. She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.<br />
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So never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don’t you dare keep her. Let her go.<br />
<br />
This article has resonated with so many women around the world and has been translated into 16 different languages including South American Spanish, German, Italian, Portuguese Brazilian, Russian, French-Canadian, Dutch, Greek, Danish, Portuguese European, Swedish, Croatian, Estonian, Russian, Czech, European Spanish and Thai.<br />
<br />
Check out my blog www.lovethesearch.com for the translated versions.Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-58644571845311118862014-01-29T07:52:00.001-08:002014-01-29T07:52:45.986-08:00The Hard ThingsLooks like it's time for a refresher course on what I set out to do in 2014. Not a resolution but an intention.<br />
<br />
What are you really made of, and what do you really want?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/hard-things-you-need-to-do-to-be-successful-2014-1" target="_blank">19 Hard Things You Need To Do To Be Successful </a>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-62813148976488799922014-01-24T16:47:00.000-08:002014-01-24T16:47:00.369-08:00Six Harsh TruthsIn line with the new year intention of 'Relentless' I am going to bookmark an article shared with me today by a very old friend. No, he isn't old, we have just know each other for a long time. Sheesh.<br />
Anyway, it was a great read; mildly painful, very eye-opening, and a nice kick in the pants for me to start actually DOING what it is that is on my mind as my next endeavor in life.<br />
<br />
Fuck you, fear.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p1/" target="_blank">6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person</a><br />
<br />
I like this. The Alot Monster kind of like:<br />
<br />
<i>"So how about this: one year. The end of 2014, that's our deadline. Or a year from whenever you read this. While other people are telling you "Let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!" I'm going to say let's pledge to do fucking anything -- add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what -- hell, pick something at random if you don't know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Write for Cracked.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>But the key is, I don't want you to focus on something great that you're going to make happen to you ("I'm going to find a girlfriend, I'm going to make lots of money ..."). I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people."</i><br />
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<br />Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-18635215648846605272014-01-21T21:05:00.001-08:002014-01-21T21:10:04.081-08:00West Coast Flows HomeThe impact you make on another person with words and actions, while imperceptible at first, is in fact, permanent. Sometimes we like to think we have the right to give counsel; to tell another person how to live their life, based on our own experience is how we make the most change in the world. False.<br />
<br />
The people who enter our lives and are so intensely themselves without apology are the ones that leave the biggest mark. Mean the most. Challenge us the most. Provide us with the opportunity to grow and be a true friend -- or flee in selfish fear.<br />
<br />
Tonight, as I created the chalk board art to promote the last class with Todd LaBerge at Atlanta Hot Yoga, the tears that have been lurking for weeks started to surface. I honestly can say that Todd has been the most influential person in my life for the past three years. This month marks when I chose to start practicing yoga to expand my physical and social activities. I took a few random classes and then wandered into his groovy West Coast Power Flow class one late Thursday night in Feb 2011. Afterwards he asked why I wasn't in class more often and I said because I couldn't afford it. He called bullshit and told me I could tidy/clean the studio in trade for his class. The rest is history. For the next three years I stacked blocks, cleaned mats, flipped laundry, blew out the candles, and sweated my way through the most unapologetically authentic yoga practices I could have never expected. Tears during savasana, and giggles alongside my new-found yogi neighbors.<br />
<br />
Through his generosity I was able to practice yoga. Through his friendship I learned about communication, forthrightness, and how to respect yourself by requiring the respect of others. I learned how to not put every man in the place of my lost father(s). I learned that no teacher is perfect, and that those imperfections are what makes them better than perfect--it makes them real.<br />
<br />
Todd gave everything to his students. He talked about wine and ice cream and football. Even when he came in the door a hot mess he was ok with letting that be part of the class which always ended up, somehow, evolving into exactly what every person needed. We all said hello to our right elbow, or cheered on the Falcons/Niners/Whoeverwaswinninghisfantasyleague during this zen-based practice. We grooved like the ocean and shot arrows of love into the future. Prana washed over our bodies like a waterfall in Tahiti, and we always closed class with the universal sound of Om. But damn, everything in-between all the lovey, gooey, juju talk, was an ass kicking of the "who the hell invented this?!" kind. And for that my dancer joints and muscles are appreciative.<br />
<br />
So, thank you, Todd. For everything. For loving me in my brokenness, and believing in me as I pushed through some of the hardest years of my life. You are a truly amazing person and I am so grateful that our paths have crossed. You have impacted the life of everyone you taught in Atlanta simply because you were authentic, caring, and generous with your love of the jo-ga. Especially this girl.<br />
<br />
I don't get in the habit of missing people very often. Life is too short. But, I am going to say that your presence will be greatly missed. I guess I have one more reason to visit San Francisco, now.<br />
<br />
Until then... every little thing, is gonna be alright.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zaGUr6wzyT8" width="420"></iframe><br />
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<br />Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-86558350603127072752014-01-15T20:13:00.001-08:002014-01-15T20:13:12.408-08:00Don't feel it anymoreTake space so you can use it. Breathe it in and back out again.<br />
<br />
No matter if it is the scorpion or the rose, just let it go.<br />
<br />
As with everything in life, this too has passed.<br />
<br />
"I don't really care what you do, but I am going to try my very best to never see you again."<br />
<br />
Ok.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/mld3NLHNebw" width="420"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-3376406440971544412014-01-08T21:10:00.000-08:002014-01-09T23:43:44.217-08:002014 is Relentless<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, to say that 2013 wrapped up with a bang is an understatement. Only so much of me will ever be told to the general public of the world wide internets, but essentially, courage carried me through leaving my job, and striking out on the adventure of a new life. I faced hard decisions head first and went with my gut. A few things I learned about myself are: I am not nearly as courageous as most people think, I am not doing what I really want to be doing, the Peace Corps is not in my future, being a teacher made me fall into a lackadaisical work ethic, I want to be in charge of my work situation, and living in the city is definitely my bag. Moving on . . . <br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"You must be passionate, you must dedicate yourself, and you must be relentless in the pursuit of your goals. If you do, you will be successful."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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After an entire year of dedicating every single yoga practice to courage, I realized in November that I hadn't quite figured out the theme of 2014. The words perseverance, dedication, and relentless started creeping in my life around the same time it became blatantly apparent that I had been going with the flow and that flow wasn't moving very fast. And that it is time to pull out old-fashioned, family-forged, German-bred determination to make the rest of my life happen. Because, did I, like, graduate college again or something? Or maybe this is what life is truly like... you don't actually know what is going on, you just keep figuring it out. Constantly. </div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
So there it is, 2014, you are going to be the year of Relentlessness. This is not a resolution, it is an intention. I am not going to procrastinate. I am not going to waste away knowing I will always be able to scrape by. It is the year in which every opportunity will be lived out, and my goals will be dug at until they are seen to fruition--or proven to be the wrong ditch. I am no longer going to just get by--that mindset was carved into me at a very young age and is unhealthy at best, life-threatening at worst. I am looking this demon in the eye and saying "Fuck you, I am relentless". </div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>There have been so many people who have said to me, 'You can't do that,' but I've had an innate belief that they were wrong. Be unwavering and relentless in your approach.</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
No details needed here. Just the quote to remind me about all the bullshit I have been through in terms of, well, everything.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Be relentless and then you'll break through.</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
Yes, yes I will.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>If you truly dig what you are doing, if you lay it out that way, nobody can not respond. That's what rock and roll is; it's relentless.</i></div>
<br />
Seriously can't wait to rock and roll the ISH out of 2014. Plans have changed, the universe has spoken. Now it's up to me to take charge and dig even deeper to use the Change, use the Love, use the Courage, that has come about over the past 3 years, and break out into the life that I truly am meant to live. I have goals, but they don't need to be written down. They don't need to be posted on my wall or on the internet. They are in my heart which means they will never be forgotten. They burn inside me every day as I wake up and as I go to sleep. Relentlessly.<br />
<br />Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-11632310561379233022014-01-08T20:17:00.002-08:002014-01-08T20:18:07.864-08:00The InvitationThe beautiful Ms. O spoke many of these words at the end of last year during one of her classes. It is a reminder for what is to come this year . . .<br />
<b><br /></b>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<b>The Invitation</b><br />
Oriah ~ Mountain Dreamer<br />
<br />
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.<br />
<br />
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.<br />
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It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.<br />
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I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.<br />
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I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.<br />
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It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.<br />
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I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.<br />
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I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'<br />
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It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.<br />
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It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.<br />
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It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.<br />
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I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.</div>
Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-83202644110058308862013-10-24T19:56:00.001-07:002013-10-24T19:56:42.520-07:00Emotional AgilityThe kind of dramatic changes you can create in your life only happen through persistent, constant, decisions on a moment-to-moment basis. Relentless determination to experience life through a different filter with different outcomes does not happen magically. You have to dig down and see all the darkness along with the light. You have to accept all the little dirty corners along with the beautiful windows. You have to realize and verbalize the kind of person you actually desire to be, and then make the changes through every moment of your life. Anything less and you will never achieve what you are aiming for. This article outlined the exact process I took upon myself about 3 years ago. But I didn't call it anything. And I didn't go to a therapist.<br />
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Solitude. Writing. Yoga.<br />
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If anything, it is a great article to bookmark and reference when I need to be reminded of... everything. Damn. So good.<br />
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http://www.fastcompany.com/3020373/leadership-now/4-important-things-about-mindfulness-you-didnt-realizeLindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-12237769735846498862013-09-17T14:16:00.000-07:002013-09-17T14:16:27.864-07:00All of the Games. All of the Thrones.Here is to having much more information than I realized, stored away in my brain from forgotten classes. Apparently I can put it to good use in a field that I have never been educated. Seriously, I never thought I would use my Lean training for college level healthcare curriculum review. Life, you are so weird.<br />
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Here is to playing like I hold a royal flush. Saying yes to everything. Going for it.<br />
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Yes, to yoga studio desk job of sweaty zen OCD awesomeness.<br />
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Yes, to STEM non-profit that is giving me a VEX robot to program, and handfuls of inner city high school students to teach about engineering.<br />
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Yes, to applying for the Executive Director position for Career and Technical Education in Fulton County.<br />
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Yes, to accepting my placement in the Peace Corps. After all, they don't want to deploy me until June 2014, and that is a looooong time from now.<br />
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Yes, to random curriculum review jobs that somehow utilize my knowledge base even though the two fields seem terribly unrelated.<br />
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Yes to getting out of summer vacation mode and into making a life for myself mode.<br />
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I will play all of the games. I want all of the thrones.<br />
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Also, the Imp is allllmost my favorite character. At least in the top 3.Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-86998916272971555002013-06-26T13:47:00.005-07:002013-06-26T13:47:38.144-07:00Education, Sports, and SalaryI used to think it was home schooling and absence of athletic ability that caused my lack of team spirit. Not that I don't like working in teams, but being a sports fan. My college did not have a football team, and honestly, being a Masters student doesn't leave you much time to get into the undergrad fanaticism. So, I am not really sure where it started, but the more I see how skewed the monetary allotment is in higher education it makes me almost nauseous. And gives me no reason to want to be a fan.<br />
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After reading some articles that back up and prove my feelings for the past 15 years I am even less inclined to support college football--never mind the fact it is almost like a religion in the south which is bs. How about you pour that funding into your science, health, arts, and engineering departments? Make sure those professors and equipment are taken care of and updated as often as your football team facilities. Bet you would have more graduates that can contribute to society instead of the social arena of pro sports. Sweet Jesus.<br />
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<a href="http://www.fastcodesign.com/1672861/infographic-whos-your-states-highest-paid-public-employee#1">Who's Your Highest Paid Public Employee? </a><br />
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<a href="http://www.npr.org/2013/06/26/195501710/lets-separate-the-schoolin-from-the-sports">Let's Separate the Schoolin' From the Sports</a><br />
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P.S. Someone asked me why I felt the way I do about sports. They also felt the need to tell me they were going to 'fix' me and my lack of support for teams. While I never got around to answering the question I am pretty certain I don't need to be fixed. Boom.Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-46878455884154675222013-04-15T17:22:00.001-07:002013-04-15T18:01:17.876-07:00Everything and Nothing At All There are two basic emotions that we operate from: Love and Fear. Everything else is a trickle down feeling.<br /><br />In reflection of some recent (extremely emotional) personal events and what happened in Boston today I can't help but return to this thought.<br /><br />Kids are cruel. I see it every. single. day. Adults are simply kids with more access to tools to express their emotions. <div>
<br />If you react to someone who is different or quirky or weird or unique with an attitude of fear then they learn to be feared. They learn to be afraid. </div>
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<br />And when people are afraid they either withdraw or they lash out. </div>
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<br />So, the next time you want to pass judgement on that person who talks differently, walks differently, or has a commentary different from your train of thought, just pause and reflect. What will you teach them with your actions? Will you teach them fear or will you teach love? </div>
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<br />The craziest thing about all this is how it is against our nature to push back at someone who is nice. Our innermost being of humanity reacts to what is thrown it's way. Be terse with the waiter and you get bad service. Yell at the guy who is going too slow (for you) and they will go slower. Try it. <br />I don't like living in a world where kindness is met with surprise. </div>
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<br />Be the change you wish to see in the world. Not the preacher of it. You are *not* entitled to jack anything. </div>
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<br />My heart goes out to everyone in Boston. I am deeply saddened by it and humbled by the enormity of our society. My world is but a mere speck and yet I am the sun. Sometimes it is easy to get lost in our lives and forget there are so many other people out there, living simultaneous, unattached, and equally important lives. Hrm. Life. You continue to elude and overpower me. </div>
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<br />In summary, which has nothing to do with this post, Twilight is the most horrifically terrible movie in every way possible: acting, script, color saturation, cinematography, special effects, plot, etc. But, they paid someone to get a hell of a sound track--of which I am shamelessly listening to this week. I really like this song: </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/EWeI_Z-wHKQ" width="420"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-85040924003267543332013-04-07T14:18:00.000-07:002013-04-07T14:18:40.166-07:00First Name is Last NamePhillip Phillips. The kid has a pretty decent album, I dare say. I had no idea he was from American Idol--which shows you how much I am tapped into pop culture. I was burnt out from his song "Home" which is horrifically overplayed on the radio, and wasn't really interested in exploring him any further, but a reputable friend suggested I take a listen. Thanks, Tim, that was some good advice :)<br />
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All I can say is that he has beautiful lyrics, and sounds a lot like Dave Matthews. Nothing beats a guy with a guitar. Not quite a swoon, but I dig. Very much. Here is a taste of his sound past what we hear once an hour on top 40.<br />
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Gone, Gone, Gone.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oozQ4yV__Vw" width="560"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-55334931612127385362013-04-05T19:24:00.000-07:002013-04-05T19:24:36.658-07:00The Perks......of Being a Wallflower. Is a much better movie than I expected.<br />
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"You accept the love you think you deserve."<br />
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"It's not about where you came from, it's where you choose to go from here."<br />
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Nailed. It.<br />
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(fun soundtrack, too)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/S0NJuwx5gVQ" width="420"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-85351448685170194412013-03-24T19:38:00.000-07:002013-03-24T19:40:25.332-07:00Different and the SameIt is so fun when I hear, almost word for word, the exact same message in different scenarios / parts / aspects of my life.<br />
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Last weekend I was in a class where were were told to not just rely on what we can do easily, but acknowledge the gaps in our dancing and focus on those parts; to see where we are weak and challenge ourselves to grow.<br />
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Tonight, in yoga, Todd told the class to not rely on the easy parts of a pose, but to challenge ourselves to really reach the full expression. That the places we are the weakest are the places we have the most room for growth.<br />
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Boom.<br />
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Not an unfamiliar or new concept. It is not like I haven't heard this before or am totally amazeballs over this truth. Just a little reflection and bookmark on when this concept placed itself very loudly in my path this year. There are areas in my life that I rely on as my strengths, and there are weakness that I like to ignore. Maybe it is time to challenge those areas and work towards some new growth.<br />
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In the meantime, as I figure out what the hell that means, here is a pretty song:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ON1yNCUhCOc" width="420"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-49552535365513386952013-03-19T18:03:00.002-07:002013-03-20T18:05:10.600-07:00MirrorsI have never been big on celebrity crushes. They are stupid and pointless.<br />
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However, I think I could have Justin Timberlake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.<br />
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Every day of the week.<br />
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I make a good point, right?<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uuZE_IRwLNI" width="560"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-26594836555585246642013-02-24T18:47:00.000-08:002013-02-24T18:51:57.403-08:00Overview, The Film'Astronaut' was never on my list of possible career choices. I did not memorize constellations, or dream of overcoming gravity inside a massive shuttle. There was a great deal of star gazing, cloud watching, and daydreaming of being able to fly, though, which should have culminated into a lifetime of being or working with space. Not so much.<br />
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The neatest thing about this video is that it ties together the philosophy of community and the reality of just how enormous the world is compared to us--and how tiny it is in the universe. It provides perspective on why we need to work with a communal mindset and treat our planet with respect.<br />
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I am so grateful for the people who have dedicated their lives to exploring beyond the earth's surface. Holy balls, it is impressive. I am also grateful that they give me a tangible / visible answer to a deep-seated desire to dedicate my life to helping others. It scratches on the surface of "why".<br />
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It encourages me to connect less virtually and care more in reality. It has given me a little bump of perspective to remember that we are all in this together and to act accordingly.<br />
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Now, to go find the book which has received either 1 or 5 starts on Amazon. Awesome.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/55073825" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1164822444885599476.post-4135297320595074222013-02-05T16:46:00.000-08:002013-02-05T16:46:23.308-08:00Taper Jean GirlKings of Leon Pandora Radio. Can't stop listening.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6MBgQWq6cfw" width="420"></iframe><br />
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The longer I live the more I realize that timing is a total b*tch. The weird chemical reactions that we interpret as feelings follow no law or reason. At all. Ever. Forming a connection cannot be predicted, forced, or falsified; the heart does whatever it wants--whenever it wants. There is no such thing as 'should' or 'should not' in the world of emotion.<br />
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In other news I am still an INFJ. Figures...<br />
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Follow Your Heart - City and Colour<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/W1zo0EFOxxo" width="420"></iframe>Lindsay Ellenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690254678411804705noreply@blogger.com0