Three months in . . .

It has taken a few months for this year's intention to seep in.

Relentlessly.

To meander it's way through the cracks and fill in all the little momentary voids that make up the decisions that form our lives.

Relentlessly.

To manifest itself in a overwhelmingly fierce way that keeps you from ever doubting it's existence.

Relentlessly.

As of this week, though, I have felt the pull of a new intentional habit starting to take precedence over the inertia of my year-long mental summer vacation. Before three hard-hitting actions taken today I felt as though I was still just flowing along with the occasional self inflicted pep-talk. Nope, today shit happened. And it felt good. Really good.

Relentlessly asking questions...
Relentlessly checking off checklists...
Relentlessly reliable...
Relentlessly not taking shit...
Relentlessly being honest...
Relentlessly going after whatever the hell it is I want to do for the rest of my life...
Relentlessly loving, respecting, and giving...

Plans change, lives change, addresses change, but intentions stay the same. I feel like I have hit a huge reset button on my life since leaving teaching, while at the same time finally connecting my past to my future instead of reinventing and going on an entirely new path. Super. Weird. Feeling.

2014 is Relentless

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."

Well, to say that 2013 wrapped up with a bang is an understatement. Only so much of me will ever be told to the general public of the world wide internets, but essentially, courage carried me through leaving my job, and striking out on the adventure of a new life. I faced hard decisions head first and went with my gut. A few things I learned about myself are: I am not nearly as courageous as most people think, I am not doing what I really want to be doing, the Peace Corps is not in my future, being a teacher made me fall into a lackadaisical work ethic, I want to be in charge of my work situation, and living in the city is definitely my bag. Moving on . . .

"You must be passionate, you must dedicate yourself, and you must be relentless in the pursuit of your goals. If you do, you will be successful."

After an entire year of dedicating every single yoga practice to courage, I realized in November that I hadn't quite figured out the theme of 2014. The words perseverance, dedication, and relentless started creeping in my life around the same time it became blatantly apparent that I had been going with the flow and that flow wasn't moving very fast. And that it is time to pull out old-fashioned, family-forged, German-bred determination to make the rest of my life happen. Because, did I, like, graduate college again or something? Or maybe this is what life is truly like... you don't actually know what is going on, you just keep figuring it out. Constantly. 

So there it is, 2014, you are going to be the year of Relentlessness. This is not a resolution, it is an intention. I am not going to procrastinate. I am not going to waste away knowing I will always be able to scrape by. It is the year in which every opportunity will be lived out, and my goals will be dug at until they are seen to fruition--or proven to be the wrong ditch. I am no longer going to just get by--that mindset was carved into me at a very young age and is unhealthy at best, life-threatening at worst. I am looking this demon in the eye and saying "Fuck you, I am relentless". 

There have been so many people who have said to me, 'You can't do that,' but I've had an innate belief that they were wrong. Be unwavering and relentless in your approach.

No details needed here. Just the quote to remind me about all the bullshit I have been through in terms of, well, everything.

Be relentless and then you'll break through.

Yes, yes I will.

If you truly dig what you are doing, if you lay it out that way, nobody can not respond. That's what rock and roll is; it's relentless.

Seriously can't wait to rock and roll the ISH out of 2014. Plans have changed, the universe has spoken. Now it's up to me to take charge and dig even deeper to use the Change, use the Love, use the Courage, that has come about over the past 3 years, and break out into the life that I truly am meant to live. I have goals, but they don't need to be written down. They don't need to be posted on my wall or on the internet. They are in my heart which means they will never be forgotten. They burn inside me every day as I wake up and as I go to sleep. Relentlessly.