Twenty Four

I choreographed a modern dance for my sister when I was in college. She was going through some life changes that were...well...life changing. I used this song to represent that every day can bring about a shift so great we have no idea how to handle it--but that is ok. (Also, she told me the news very close to my birthday which is on the 24th)

Despite being in a very different place in the religious sense, Switchfoot still strikes a chord during this tumultuous time.

Scared? A little.
Nervous? A lot.
Determined? Very much so.

I'm not coping out.

2013: Year of Courage

Lentil soup is delicious. Nom nom nom . . .

I suppose if I were to approach this whole resolution topic in a chronological manner I would write my 2012 summary. However, those thoughts have already been written down in my paper journal (which can be transcribed) and these new thoughts are fresh in my mind as of the drive home from work / yoga class. The Love wrap-up will just have to wait.

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." 

This year's theme of 'Courage' holds so many deeper meanings the more I ponder the concept. The obvious would be the major life changes I am considering and moving towards. I know that I am going to need a hell of a lot of courage to change my living situation, job status, and other such grounding elements. But, the more and more I think about all the parts of life that courage applies to, it is almost overwhelming. Literally, every single decision we make in life could use a little courage. Calling a parent about a student's behavior, telling your principal you were 3 hours late to work because you slept through three alarms, confessing your true feelings to someone, telling another person you have no feelings, registering for a dance competition you feel totally out-classed in, are all situations in which I usually make excuses, punk out, or just become passive. So, in order to make a habit of courage I have decided to make courage be my response to every little thing just like Love was last year.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

Could this go terribly awry? Absolutely. As with most things in life :) I don't think that one should simply say everything that comes to mind, or make sudden/crazy/rash/poor/any choices about the direction of their life just to be courageous. In my case, though, I find that this resolution rings true because I have become too complacent and comfortable with my life. Too much talk and not enough do. It will help with procrastination, all forms of relationships, dance, and the path upon which I want to take for the rest of my life (or at least the next few years).

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

And so begins 2013: Year of Courage. I have already made a hell of a start by being honest and open with a friend about a difficult (yet relieving) topic, and communicated with the PC about my application status. I can already see that honesty will be a focal point throughout this process.

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." 

Yes. 2013 is going to be an interesting year.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

Separator ~ Radiohead
"Like I've fallen out of bed

From a long and vivid dream
Finally I'm free of all the weight I've been carrying"




Blinding ~ Florence and the Machine

The Lucky One

Why in the HELL I continue to torture myself with reading and watching Nicholas Sparks stories is beyond me. I have successfully avoided any such overly romantic bullsh*t for at least a couple months until last night when I watched 'The Lucky One'. (Stupid Redbox and your cheap rentals). I have already read the book (of course) but apparently that wasn't enough.

As I subjected myself to the wonders of predictable love I fell for a few tunes on the soundtrack along with (shamelessly) the blue eyed, overly-hunky, mysterious, manly, and compassionate, male character. Dammit.

You Got What I Need ~ Joshua Radin



What I Wouldn't Do - A Fine Frenzy

The opposite of love's indifference . . .

"If they only ever talk about themselves the only reason they are talking to you at all is to get in your pants. If they ask questions and invest time in learning about your life, then they actually want to get to know you."

Boom. End of story.

Gotta love it when a conversation about one topic actually clears up a whole lot of bullsh*t about another. Oh yeah, and honest friends. They are the bomb dot com.

Ending this weekend with a hot toddy, cookie, and some chill music. #winning

Mellow Out

Sometimes you just need to chill the eff out. Right now is the time for music that lowers blood pressure and soothes over the fact that there a million and one things looming on the should-have-already-been-done list. 

Sigur Ros and Dustin O'Halloran radio stations have been a bit of a lifesaver this week. For a variety of reasons.

So hear (pun intended) is a taste of my soundtrack when . . . 

...feelings flip flop. 

...stress pulls in every direction. 

...stacks of homework need to be graded. 

...my inbox has more than 3 emails in it. 

Skin - Sade

In Another Time - Sade

The Safest Hiding Place - Sade

On the Nature of Daylight - Max Richter

Opus 20 - Dustin O'Halloran

El Chupacabra - Alex Grant

We Insist - Zoe Keating

Time and a Half - Mogwai

Breathe Me - Sia

Fjoger Piano - Sigur Ros

Iscariot - Walk the Moon

The Casanova (Remember Love) - Andy Clockwise

Paris Sunrise #7 - Ben Harper

Walk Away - Ben Harper

Too Late - Andrew Duhon

Lifeline - Citizen Cope

Keep Askin' - Citizen Cope

Fixative - David Gray

Forgetting - David Gray

Half Life - Imogen Heap

Skin by Sade

When I found out this love's undone
I was like a gun
Sure as it was over
Felt like nothing good could come
Sure as it's gonna play and play
Like Michael back in the day
I'm gonna peel you away
Now as I begin
To wash you off my skin
I'm gonna peel you away
Cos you're not right within
I love you so
Sometimes love has to let go
So this time don't thing it's a lie
I say goodbye
Now as I begin
To wash you off my skin
I'm gonna peel you away
Cos you're not right within
Now it's time
To wash you off my skin
Now as I begin
It couldn't be right cos you're not right within
I say goodbye

Re: Inspired

Famine, Influence, and Morality should be a wildly outdated piece of writing. It was published in 1971, after all. Surely, in this day and age we have gotten past such horrifying situations. However, I find it to be fascinatingly relevant to my future plans. I found it while poking around on some blogs about the PC.

My usual lack of visual verbalization strikes as I dig further and further into the whys of life. The more I read the more I realize that while I love what I do, I might need to change directions in order to be truly happy.

As I sat across from a new face I had to answer the question "Why do you do it?" in regards to my recent volunteering endeavors. My first reaction was "Why would you even have to ask that?" but instead I fumbled through putting into words a gut feeling that is as inexplicable as much as it is constant.

Basically, if I have worked hard to get to where I am in life then why should I not give back?

As Singer so much more eloquently put it:

"...if it is in our power to prevent something bad from happening, without thereby sacrificing anything of comparable moral importance, we ought, morally, to do it."

From where my deep-rooted derision stems I do not know. I just know that I missed out on the fun of philosophy by being home schooled, and that I feel it to be true with all of my being. My sheer anger when walking through a mall has dissipated to a muted sense of sadness, but it still lingers in the back of my mind.

"People do not ordinarily judge in the way I have suggested they should. Most people reserve their moral condemnation for those who violate some moral norm, such as the norm against taking another person's property. They do not condemn those who indulge in luxury instead of giving to famine relief. But given that I did not set out to present a morally neutral description of the way people make moral judgments, the way people do in fact judge has nothing to do with the validity of my conclusion."

"If this is an explanation of our common distinction between duty and supererogation, however, it is not a justification of it. The moral point of view requires us to look beyond the interests of our own society. Previously, as I have already mentioned, this may hardly have been feasible, but it is quite feasible now. From the moral point of view, the prevention of the starvation of millions of people outside our society must be considered at least as pressing as the upholding of property norms within our society."

I will let you read through the rest of the article if you so choose. Essentially, I just wanted to bookmark one of my forays into philosophy of my own choosing. Reading this made so many of my musings make sense and also to not feel so isolated in my thoughts. 

Also, I am in a nearly constant state of chilled out reflection. Pandora stations of choice: Dustin O'Halloran and Sigur Ros. Found this gem awhile back. Suits life right now. 

On the Nature of Daylight by Max Richter

Video: Yoga in the Airport

One of the silliest and most inspiring views of yoga I have seen in awhile. Hot damn.

One day.

One day.

Click here to enjoy.