Sunday, November 9, 2008

the bends

I recently discovered that I am the only leftie in my family. No, I do not write with my left hand, instead, I vote for the left side.
My family is military, and I think that trickles down through the generations. Not to mention how conservative they are about religion and other touchy subjects. There is not much conversation about the realness of God. It is just not questionable. Now I am not a registered democract - nor do I want to be - but I am certainly not a republican by any means. I think the holiday dinner table this year will hold some interesting coversations to say the least . . .

I find a constant inner struggle with my place in the realm of faith. While I had a strict upbringing to be christian, I find anyone who holds so strongly to such a faith to be somewhat frustrating. Yet, when my other friends who are adamantly against christians profess their dislike it raises my hackles and I am ready to fight for the religion that I hold closest to my heart. My inner reflection on such responses only brings me to one conclusion - I am irritated by those who judge someone elses beliefs. I think it stems from my incredibly narrowminded childhood that taught me to place unquestioning judgement on anyone else who believed anything different. And that just sickens me. I have met such an incredible variety of people in my life that while I might not agree with everyone I hold a great amount of respect for those who are on different paths than myself.
An excellent example of my family's deep-seated need to believe in God is the fact my grandparents bought me a subscription to Discovery - a daily bible reader. My grandmother is convinced that I am not a christian or don't know God or something to that extent. I really don't know what sparked that in her. Maybe is is me being Catholic, or maybe living in Boone, or maybe not voting for McCain. I don't know, but she is bound and determined that I read the bible for salvation. Now, I love her with all my heart, and she is one of the most inspirational, hard-working, dedicated, strong, passionate, women I know, but she is a bit extreme sometimes, which unfortunately, turns me off to religion. Sigh . . . I don't know where I am going with this . . . I just had to ramble for awhile. I do know that it is very difficult for me to worship a tangible person.

My new favorite show is 30Rock. Tina Fey is my hero. I actually laugh out loud while watching it alone. And that means it is pretty damn funny. If you are not already in love, then you need to check it out. That rounds out my online tv watching to: Dexter, The Office, and 30Rock . . .

I am pumped about KLX. I have been going for, what, 5 or 6 years now? I can't even remember. I just know that I am looking forward to seeing my peoples, rocking out with the good southern dj's and the most excellent food. Never underestimate southern hospitality =)

Atlanta sometimes still does not feel like home. I drive on top of spaghetti junction every day and see the skyline off in the distance. It is beautiful sight, but still a bit surreal. I think it is because my life is consumed by teaching and learning. Which, don't get me wrong, is fantastic, but I think I will try to make it out more in the spring. Money is still pretty tight so catching a show and dinner is not always in the budget, but I promised myself I would take advantage of the culture that the big city offers. Maybe that is just it. I am not such a big city girl. I would love to live in a small town and walk everywhere. I like favorite spots, and familiar faces.

Maybe someday I will have my dream of living in a small town, working at a college or university, and enjoying the dance community all at the same time. Someday . . .

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