Toxic

What comes to mind when you say the word toxic? Generally speaking it is something that you don't want in your vicinity, never mind physical body. Very few people, besides comic book villains (who have childhood issues) would like to claim that they spread toxicity.

On a tangible level, toxic things are unnatural substances that cause harm to whatever they come in contact with. Cancer, sickness, illness, or even a condition that turns hereditary. Basically,  your body rejects the toxic item, or cells go crazy trying to process it -- resulting in malignant tumors, or clusters of f'ed up cells. It's not a pretty picture. We all know what happens to towns located near nuclear plants, or get runoff from an industrial site. It's all quite hush, hush to preserve the greater good that is being created at the aforementioned monstrosities.

On a less visible level toxic emotions and words can cause the same things. What the hell are you talking about? Anger and hatred are probably the first ones that come to mind. I don't disagree, but I find they are the byproduct (or tumor, if you will) of root toxins: jealousy, selfishness, egotism, bragging, narcissism, and others along the same line.




Where is toxicity found in your life? I have been asking myself this question lately. This has been the year of Love, and while it is going very well, I still find that covering everything up with a blanket of Love has not really fixed my knee-jerk reactions to certain situations--or people. Recognizing toxic words or actions has been a really clarifying process (no pun intended). My response to this question has given me peace in more than one situation and has helped me figure out some decisions for, well, the direction of the rest of my life. I think that the motive behind words are what determines if something is toxic or not. If you are looking to stir the pot then maybe it isn't such a good idea to open your mouth.

This is a fairly vague blog, on purpose. There are some very clear elements in my life that I find are toxic. Some are self-inflicted, and some are found in the community of which I have been part of for many years. Toxicity sucks the joy, companionship, friendship, and respect out of a group of people faster than straight-up anger. Why? Because it is insidious. You don't even really know it is happening until you realize that your general emotional response to anything related to the group is downright revulsion. And I would rather be angry than repulsed.

In addition, I look for when and where I might be spreading toxic emotions or words. 'Cause that ish just isn't acceptable. Hold your tongue. Respect the other person. Listen. Appreciate. Build them up, don't prove yourself. Perfect? Hell no. Life is a process, and this is just one more step towards becoming the person that I am ok leaving behind when I die.